‘We complicate simple things.’
The above statement sum up most of my past relationships. Complication of not so complicated issues in life. First, love itself is complicated. You put two people into a frame. Two different lifestyle, background, religion practices and characteristics come together to form some sort of unity in spirit? Of course you’re gonna have problems. Real problems. Somehow we believe the Cloud Nine period will last longer and all the honey talk plus sweet stares keep us floating, just to be in-love. We have forgotten love comes together with weaknesses, bad breath, bad days, bad conversations,bad hair day, bad food, bad foot, bad topics and bad weather. Funny isn’t it? We welcome the good but get angry with the bad and we said we love each other for better or for worse.
Secondly, expectations. My exes expected me to be a bunny girl. That type of girl that appears to be innocent, scared, introverted, insecure, clingy and preferably perform a bunny dance in a tight skimpy dress for him. As a matter of fact, being fearless, secured and independent shun their egos and the fact that i can’t perform a bunny dance remains unsolved. So i failed them. But they failed me too. Hours of playing ps2 games, neglecting my calls, freaked out to watch horror show with me, requested me to be a driver, maid, junk food supplier, toilet cleaner, and enjoy nagging at every strand of of hair on his parqueted floor. We failed one another. Terribly.
Schedule. Monday i had classes. Tuesday he had Guys-Nite-Out. Wednesday i went for church group meeting. Thursday he had siblings get together. Friday we finally went out. Saturday he just wanna play ps2 all day long. Sunday we finally watched a movie together. It is tough to put two schedules fit into one appointment. I wish the movie plot came alive in us. Typically we girls love the romantic candlelight dinner and moonlight strolling along the beach. Wait, beach is far from where i live. Scrap it, let’s reschedule.
Misunderstanding. So all of my exes love checking my calls, messages, photos, inbox, emails, and counting Likes on social media, they asked who’s who and what’s what. Nothing wrong with it. I gladly explain. The fact that some of them get mad at me spending more time with my girlfriends than them has been a frequent argumentative topic. And i misunderstood them too. They cared, i treated it as invading territory. They advised,i heard mumbling and nagging. They bought me gifts, i dislike to paint my nails. They wanna make sure i was okay, i am capable in taking care of myself.They kept quiet to let me chill, i thought they must be insensitive and i got mad.It’s a tie match. We frustrate each other.
Finally,commitment. We carry different numbers. I counted the days, months, years and future. More numbers mean fully committed. My counterpart define commitment based on tomorrow basis. If tomorrow comes, let’s discuss the possibilities of numbers equivalent to relationship journey. For most of them, numbers are just numbers though many decided to multiple it to a family chart. Unfortunately, that never applies to me, yet.
Conclusion,relationship is not up to me to define. It takes two to make a synonym. It takes two to break an antonym.